tokki,

You are one year old! I don't know if I really believe it yet but the time says you are and you've grown from a newborn to infant to toddler. You're taller and stronger but when I hold you in my arms when you nurse, you're still my little baby.

You're observant and curious, persevering and strongheaded, and silly and sweet. Your personality is as bright as your big eyes, which is very bright! You're smart and great at imitating what we do and say (which entertains us like nothing else!) and you understand and communicate with us very well. It makes our job as parents much easier; but then again, you've always been such a content and easygoing baby. I'm grateful for your health and energy and never ending laughter, it lights up my life.

Appa & I have been blessed beyond measure with you in our lives. I love that I can look back on our first year as parents with so many precious memories and also look forward to many more fun memories we will make together as you get older. And right now, each day with you is just perfect. I love you to the moon and back WooHyun.

~Umma

1. What did you do in 2011 that you'd never done before?
I gave birth and became a mother. I think that encompasses everything new I've done this year: being responsible for a human life other than my own, breastfeeding, diapering, etc.

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn't have any specific resolutions but I do have some for the next year. Something I will do instead of talking about it.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Me! It's the best thing I've ever done in my life.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.

5. What countries did you visit?
No international travel for us this year, but hopefully within the next few years. :)

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
I would like to have more love and compassion towards others, especially those that are different from me. Not just in theory but in my life.

7. What date(s) from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
February 15th . . . the birth of my son. So unexpected but so wonderful.
August & Oct/Nov . . .  visiting family & friends with tokki was a lot of fun! I love seeing my parents & grandparents with tokki, there are so many smiles and laughter together.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Breastfeeding successfully (and we're still going strong)! It was hard the first couple of weeks but we both got the hang of it in a few months and now we're even bfing in public without a cover. I love the connection and closeness I have with tokki through breastfeeding. It also keeps me aware of what I'm eating and how I'm taking care of my body because it all goes to tokki. And it helped me lose a LOT of the baby weight!

9. What was your biggest failure?
Taking better care of my husband. He took very good care of me & tokki and I plan on being a better wife in the new year because he really deserves it.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
None of us did! We only suffer scratches from tokki's sharp baby nails.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
iPhone! It's nice not to carry around a cell phone and an iPod, it's all-in-one and with a way better quality camera.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My sister because she finally realized how great it is to be with someone who truly respects and cares for you & treats you like a princess. :) It's a good, good thing.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
skip.

14. Where did most of your money go?
On tokki's clothing and toys and books and many other cute and pretty baby things I couldn't pass on. He's not completely spoiled but we are restraining ourselves haha!

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
The first poo, the first smile, the first laugh, the first roll, the first sitting, the first solid food, the first crawling, the first clapping, the first waving, the first dancing, the first standing, the first steps; just about everything tokki does! It's all so exciting as a first time mom.

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?
Wonder Girls - Be My Baby because whenever that song comes on my son's face lights up and it is too adorable when he starts bopping and swaying to the beat.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
Wiser? Infinitely.
Healthier? Definitely! Coconut oil & fermented cod liver oil/butter oil & farmers market visits have really helped.
Richer? Yes. Daddy works hard ;)

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Nothing! I'm already doing it.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Nagging Tare. The jansori ajumma in me really came out this year. I'm going to fix it!

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
We spent Christmas at home again this year.

22. Did you fall in love in 2011?
Yes. I fell in love with the baby in my belly last year but I've fallen head over heels in love with the baby in my arms who has such a bright and positive personality. He melts my heart.

23. How many one-night stands?
This question just doesn't apply.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
The Vampire Diaries! & Running Man, I'm A Singer.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No.

26. What was the best book you read?
I've just started What Mothers Do: Especially When it Looks Like Nothing by Naomi Stadlen and I'm sure it will be on my best books list.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I've rediscovered my own voice as I sing to tokki all the time. Our current nap time lullaby is Amazing Grace and it works every time. I want to sing more like I used to...

28. What did you want and get?
An iPhone~

29. What did you want and not get?
Clothes that are not nursing friendly. :( But I'm over it.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
I enjoyed Harry Potter, but I only watched about six movies this year so I don't know what was really good.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I blew out candles on a cake and received pretty flowers from my husband and smiles from my 6 month old son. I turned 24 this year!

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
My fashion concept was nursing friendly which means I wore a lot of pull-aside, button-up, easy up dresses and shirts.

34. What kept you sane?
My husband's encouragement that I'm doing a great job with tokki and being able to nap during the day with baby even though that means I don't get any household chores done. But being present for my son is much more worthwhile than dishwashing or dusting so I'm fine with that!

35. Who did you miss?
I'm starting to miss Aji a little bit now. I never mentioned here, but we decided to move her to my parents' house when we last visited because I couldn't give more attention to her. I wish I was a better owner who could give lots of attention and love to the dog with the baby but... I'm not. So she is with family who are better able to take care of her and play with her. She's doing well there and I'm so glad but I do miss her furry little face sometimes.

36. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.
I am the best mother for my son. And another mother is the best for her child.
I made a lot of different choices when it came to childbirth from most people and I make specific choices about  how I want to raise my child. It's what will be the best for my baby and I'm confident in that. But that confidence led me to being judgmental of other mothers and the choices they made for their child; sometimes it just really bugged me. But I have no say in what's best for anyone else's child than my own, to each their own, there is not a single answer to parenting! Some ways are better as a fact for babies, but it's not my choice to make and it's not my choice to judge. It's something I struggle with personally in my mind; I've never said anything to anyone about it, but it's wrong just the same.
We're all just loving our baby and that is what is important.

37. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
My chains are gone, I've been set free.
My God, my Savior has ransomed me.
And like a flood His mercy rains
Unending love, amazing grace.